Technorati Tags: Funny Animal Pictures, Humor

photo credit: Bruno_Brujah

I know, you probably read this before, but, it is so good (and true)  so you might want to read it again   I did

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years – canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat’s butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don’t. (2) If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That’s why they call it ‘fur’-niture. (3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. (4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don’t speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they (1) eat less, (2) don’t ask for money all the time, (3) are easier to train, (4) normally come when called, (5) never ask to drive the car, (6) don’t hang out with drug-using people; (7) don’t smoke or drink, (8) don’t want to wear your clothes, (9) don’t have to buy the latest fashions, (10) don’t need a gazillion dollars for college and (11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children ..

Technorati Tags: Humor

Stare deep into the eyes of the cat and dog!!!

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OK, You  have now officially had a

- Cat Scan
- Lab Test

Technorati Tags: Humor

Beware of the Dog

Upon entering a small country store, a stranger noticed a sign saying DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside a harmless old hound dog was asleep on the floor besides the cash register.

He asked the store manager, “Is that the dog folks price are supposed to beware of?”

“Yep, that’s him,” he replied.

The amused stranger inquired, “That certainly doesn’t look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?”

The owner responded, “Because, before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him.”

HOW TO TEACH YOUR DOG TO COME, EVERY TIME YOU CALL HIM

Want to get your dog to come back to you reliably when he’s off-leash?
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Adam’s Dog Problems Training

Technorati Tags: Humor, joke

Golden retrievers have a special knack for stuffing their face with stuffed toys. They seem to be born with a craving for stuffed toys. I know my golden, Nikki, already had a penchant for stuffed toys at the age of six to eight weeks old.

She is an amazing Certified Therapy Dog but, she will steal resident’s stuffed toys if I would allow her to. Now, for those of you who are handy with the needle, you could remove the stuffing, and fill the toy with tough fabric instead, that way, it will last forever!

I think that dogs feel closer to being a dog when they actually have a stuffed toy in their mouth. They feel that they have caught it. They can carry it around, they can claim it, they can retrieve it (especially retrievers), and it’s theirs. And, it feels good to them. After a while, the smell of this stuffed toy becomes awful to us, but great to the dogs.

Depending on the breed you have, some dogs will kill the stuffed toys, some dogs will love it, sleep on it and snuggle with it. Retrievers will consistently have it in their mouth when you return home.Read the whole article here.

Technorati Tags: dog toys, Humor